Tagged: vegetables

Classic One liners……….3

I can sometimes come out with these one liners in public that can be toe curlingly embarrassing for those that are with me. For example on Christmas Eve at the Coop I was checking out my shopping and packing it in carrier bags when the girl on the till asks “What is this?” as she holds up a butternut squash.

“Vegetarian chicken” I reply giving my best attempt at totally dead pan face. I winked at the ATC cadet who was helping with the packing for charity as the girl swallowed the bait.

After 30 seconds of searching on her screen for the product code the teenage girl twigged and just gave me one of those looks over the rims of her glasses – pure distain. Good times!

Am I going to get red carded?

Saturday Morning July 16th.

I refuse to be a doping cheat. My shallots are going to be baby talc free in the Lee Village Flower Show Vegetable Class 23 Open Section today. I am no drug cheat, although talc is the choice of champions.

Midday

The weather has been rotten for the show today, but my shallots have been entered and staged in a tent that hopefully has not blown away in the gales. I am slightly concerned that I will be marked down on uniformity compared to the ones I see on the net – the ones I have  exhibited look proper rubbish. I only entered the shallot class very last minute as my spuds were so poor this year.

Tea Time

We go back to find I have nailed not only the Visitors Veg section, winning the  1st prize of £1 and a certificate with RED type but I have scooped the Visitors Cup (by default, but a win is a win!). The cup is a huge lump of silver wear and looks the doggies swingers! I am stunned! Rather unfortunate choice of T-shirt too as I go up to receive my award.

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There are some messed up people……

Now this Blogging lark starts you thinking and doing some strange things, but it also has made me see some strange things too.

I am growing vegetables again this year and I took some snaps of them as they do look quite good to me. I mucked about with a program called SLIDE and put the pictures of a few beans, carrots etc in a slide show. This show I then posted on the Blog via a link labelled Veg Porn. The link appears on my VIDs links, but you would not know as I did not publicise this. I did not think that it was worth announcing.

Now the thing about WordPress is it shows you stats about your Blog. How many hits you get, on what pages, where the person came from to get to your Blog eg. via a Facebook posting of mine – it is all there to see. You do not see who visits you, but you get told how they got to you basically.

Well I can say now that my slide show was clicked on first by one crazy dude, as they got there from a Google search for “Veg Porn”!

I am not joking, this is no wind up!

You can get help for that is all I say.